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Daily Smile Joke
Ethel loves to charge around the nursing home in her wheelchair. Due to her eccentric nature, other residents tolerate her behavior and even play along. As Ethel speeds down one corridor, a door opens and a man steps out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he says in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fishes around in her handbag and pulls out a candy wrapper. "OK," he says and she goes on her way. As she rounds the next corner, another man steps in front of her and shouts, "STOP! Do you have a valid taxi medallion for your vehicle, madam?" Ethel digs into her handbag again and pulls out a beer coaster. "Looks good," he says and sends her on her way. Going down the final corridor, a third man steps in front of her. He is stark naked and holds an erection in his hand. "Oh no," says Ethel, "Not the breathalyzer again!"

 

 

GTA Events


Beaches International Jazz Festival

Toronto Beaches FREE summer street festival. Jazz. Rhythm & Blues. Samba. Latin. 50 live bands. Outdoor music, entertainment, fun for the whole family.

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Event Date: July 10, 2015 to July 26, 2015
Event Location: Woodbine Park, Toronto - Click for Directions
Event Price: Free Admission

Buskerfest

The Scotiabank BuskerFest is Toronto’s wildly successful international street performer festival. Now in its 12th wacky and wonderful year, the festival has evolved into the largest of its kind in North America, and a showcase for 100’s of the most spectacular street performers on earth.

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Event Date: August 27, 2015 to August 30, 2015
Event Location: Yonge St & Queen St, Toronto - Click for Directions
Event Price: Voluntary Donation

Canada Day at the Harbourfront

Celebrate Canada's big day by the lake! Our country's biggest and best four-day birthday celebration featuring dance, music, culinary arts, comedy, family ...

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Canadian National Exhibition (CNE)

The Canadian National Exhibition (CNE) is Canada’s largest annual community event. Taking place over the 18 days leading up to and including Labour Day, the CNE offers a wide variety of entertainment and events including Bandshell concerts, celebrity chef demonstrations, an aerial acrobatics and ice skating show, a dog show, a working farm  ...

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Event Date: August 21, 2015 to September 7, 2015
Event Location: Princes' Blvd, Toronto - Click for Directions
Event Price: Click for Pricing

Cavalcade of Lights

Cavalcade of Lights at Nathan Phillips Square has an impressive 40-plus year history in Toronto. The event was created in 1967 to showcase Toronto's newly constructed City Hall and Nathan Phillips Square. This festive event traditionally falls on the final weekend of November to kick-off the holiday season ...

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Event Date: November 28, 2015
Event Location: Nathan Phillips Square, Toronto - Click for Directions
Event Price: Free Admission

The Drinks Show

The Drinks Show, the world’s only interactive cocktail event, puts more unique hand-crafted cocktails in the spotlight than any other Toronto event, with exciting new recipes that go well beyond the basic margarita or ...

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